I belong to an epic, awesome critique group. Pretty much every person writes in a slightly different genre. I mean we have multiple fantasy, YA, and contemporary authors, but their stories are all meant for different audiences. And I adore reading their work (though I owe many of them feedback right now…sorry y’all), and I really appreciate their thoughts on mine.
I have a couple of beta readers as well, depending on the project. I have one person who has very patiently been on standby for the last three or four years waiting for me to write Apathy’s Hero. Honestly, I don’t know if the story can live up to the hype at this point, but she’s awesome encouragement for something that doesn’t exist yet.
I have one friend I never talk about when I mention readers though. It’s not very nice of me. There’s a good reason for it. Or at least, there was. Like a lot of creative people, I go through these huge pockets of self-doubt where even the slightest honest feedback (not negative, just honest) crushes me for hours, days, months…I’m only kind of exaggerating.
And she’s honest. She’s never been cruel. She’s even been a willing brain-storming partner on occasion. She read my first (very rough) fantasy novel and was super encouraging. But…I stopped letting her read my work because the next story didn’t meet with as much praise.
My fault, not hers.
On the other end of the spectrum, I have another reader who I do mention a lot. Because…he’s brilliantly complimentary. Everyone needs a cheerleader, right? Mine just happens to look better in jeans than a skirt.
Neither one of them had seen my most recent revisions. Both have seen earlier versions. Enough earlier that the story is drastically different. Because as much as I want someone to tell me it’s amazing, it only needs a few tweaks, etc, etc…someone scares me about showing it to these two people. I think it’s like admitting that I think it’s ready, and I’ve thought that so many times now on this story that I don’t trust myself any more.
But I have to do it sometime, or my time is wasted in all those revisions, right?
So I took the plunge this week. They both have the first half of my new (in theory final) draft.
What kind of trepidation do you face when it’s time to get feedback?
The same as you, I guess. Most of the time I know my stuff is better than average. I say that not out of pride, but just out of having read a lot, lot, lot of unpublished writing and some published writing that sucks. I know I don’t suck. But I’m also pretty sure that not sucking isn’t the only qualification for publication. I dunno. I just close my eyes and jump.
I hate being torn apart, even when I know it’s needed. I wish I could say that I’m strong and my ego doesn’t crushed, but that would be a lie. I go through phases where I won’t show my stuff to anyone.
I guess I’m a masochist. I love getting critiques, especially the ones that tell me what isn’t working. After all this time, I know I can string together beautiful sounding sentences, but I really struggle with getting my plot across. So getting feedback always helps me find the funky spots, the moments where my characters do something that pushes he story the wrong way or something that doesn’t make sense. I rely on my beta readers and critique partners to find those funky plot moments for me, so I can go back and smooth them out.