I’m going to do something I very rarely do. I’m going to let my inner demons speak. Probably not a good idea, but…
I’ve been pondering things lately. Writing things. What makes a good story. What makes a good writer. That kind of stuff.
You know, the stuff every artist ponders at some point in their years of creation. And there’s the self-doubt that goes with it.
I’ve lost my confidence. It’s gone *poof* in a little cloud. Not all of it. I still think I tell a compelling short story…when I actually get it down on paper. But I’ve lost any faith in my ability to create a complete novel. Anything beyond a draft. Anything ready for the general public.
And I’ve read a whole bunch of other people talk about the same thing. How they push through it. How they realize they’re not alone in feeling that way. How they get their mojo back.
That’s not me. Not right now. And the thing is, I don’t think I suck as a writer. I’m not there. I think I’m incapable of finishing anything. That’s my current woe. I can write what I think are compelling stories. Long, short, whatever. And absolutely enjoy the hell out of them.
And when it comes time for revision, I think I screw them up. I get all these big grand ideas. I start trying to implement things like pacing, and character arc and description, and more clear plot, and it all falls apart.
And I have to wonder, am I cut out for this? Of course, if I quit I’m obviously not. The people who quit never get anywhere. That’s one of those motivational pieces of advice that shows up everywhere.
In the end, I just want my little angel to figure out who she is and stand on her own two feet. I just want my software developers to take a step away from oppressive corporations and prove they can make it on their own.
Wow…common theme in my stories. Intersting. *lightbulb*. /tangent.
I want to know I can do it because I write well and see a project through, not because someone feels obliged to tell me I can do it.
How do you restore your faith in your own skill and talent when cynicism sets in?
I doubt you’ve lost faith in yourself or in your own skill and talent. You just feel like you have. It’s hard for me to give advice when I know so little about you. I can only speak in general terms. If you have skill and talent, you don’t lose it somehow. It’s like riding a bicycle. But, you clearly have a problem. My only advice is: write your story. Forget about character arcs, chapter length,plot development, and so forth. Just tell your story as best you can. Let the story tell itself. Those other things will take care of themselves.
I don’t know if it’s really about pushing through. Sometimes it’s about giving yourself a needed break and doing something else to recharge yourself. I’ve heard other people say they write to relax, but I sure don’t–I find writing exhausting, to the point that I’m not worth much creatively if I’ve had a good writing day. Maybe you need to not force yourself to write or keep looking at the story–maybe you need to go swimming, cook something, or watch an MST3K marathon or equivalent.
If you love the characters they won’t leave you alone. You will finish. It just might happen differently than you expect.
I think we all have periods like that. I find the best thing to do is to just step away. If you’re like me and absolutely have to write, work on something else. Write a short story. Start a brand new book. Write a one man show in monologue…. If you can just not write, go and read. Watch a movie. Go to the gym.
Don’t beat yourself up about not writing. Do what you need to recharge, and one day you’ll go back to your MS and you’ll know exactly what you need to do.
Or not.
Sometime you just need to let them rest. Put them away and chalk it up to practice. Then move on and write the next one. I have 4 trunked novels. I don’t think any of them was a waste of time because they were good practice. But they don’t work, and they probably never will. So I move on. And if I have to trunk #5, I will, because maybe #6 will be THE ONE.
You’ll get there. As long as you want to, you can do it.
*hugs*
I know how you feel on the not finish thing. I like my writing but man I have such a hard time finishing one thing and get distracted by so many. It’s not easy to get past but you will get there. I know you can.
We all have periods like that. Just try not to be too hard on yourself, and your confidence will come back. Maybe you just need a break.
You are cut out for this. The fact you even tried illustrates your purpose. All writing is practice for the real thing-the BIG TIME. If not now…when? You can do it (I know because your blog rocks and you keep my attention every time).