I’m stuck in a place in both of my stories where I can’t get the words on paper, even though I have an idea what they need to be. So I’m distracting myself by tooling around with the query for the second one.
And I’ve stumbled on another issue. The story is contemporary romance. And in theory, a query is a lot like the back cover copy of a book. From scanning through lists of back cover copy on romance novels, they frequently have one paragraph of info about the heroine, and one about the hero, giving the reader a hint as to how their stories intertwine.
And this book is dual POV. It even opens from his perspective.
So when I query, do I query from both POV’s, or just stick to her part of the story and how it relates to him? Or, since it opens from his perspective, do I need to query from his POV?
Or am I over thinking it?
Or have I once again written myself into a corner by giving them each subplots and not just focusing on how the story impacts her?
I got feedback on one version of the query that says including both stories confuses things and makes it hard to tell who the main character is. I understand that perspective. Except I have two main characters. I mean, technically in the end, it’s her story. She’s 60%, he’s 40%.
I have written myself into a corner, haven’t it?
I’m walking away now, so I don’t delete something I’ll regret later 😛
Update: Thank you to everyone who sent me your thoughts 😀 I think it helps to be able to talk an issue through and get feedback, and as a result, I’m getting closer to a finished product:
After a no-strings attached fling teaches Riley she’s a one-man woman, she decides the only guy she wants is the one who can make a commitment. Since she was splitting the rent with said fling, the revelation also leaves her looking for a new roommate. Intelligent, sexy Zane seems like the perfect answer to both. Sparks fly in the close living quarters from the moment they move in together, until she realizes he’s only interested in a one-night stand. Riley tells herself it’s no big deal; they still have a great friendship.
Besides, from the way her co-worker, Brent, is hitting on her, he must be interested in something long-term. But a bad first date drives her to seek refuge in several stiff drinks. When she wakes up naked in his bed, she can’t remember saying yes to anything before she passed out. Now she’s second-guessing everything she believes about relationships and happily ever after. On top of that, because she’s higher on the corporate food-chain, Brent’s blackmailing her into silence and submission with the company’s ‘no dating subordinates’ policy.
She turns to Zane for support as she weighs her mental well-being against her career. But they can’t ignore the growing attraction that blurs the line between friends and lovers, and it leaves them at odds. With friendship, sanity, and her financial future on the line, Riley will have to decide where her priorities lie, or lose all three.
I’m really inclined to say that your initial instincts are right. One paragraph devoted to her, one devoted to him and then maybe in the next short paragraph tie the two together and mention what’s at stake. I think if you only went with one character and an agent asked for your manuscript and saw that there were two main characters, they’d be a little peeved that you left that out of the query.
Oh brotha. No, you haven’t written yourself into a corner. They don’t each need a paragraph, they need to share the first paragraph. As in, “She is in this situation in her life, having decided thus and so. Then she meets him, who is in his situation, having decided thus and so. Moving in together seems like the ideal solution.
But when this that and the other occur, she must…” Well, you know how queries go.
You’re overthinking, my dear. 😉
I wish I had an answer for you but really, I just don’t know. Great question though.
I got nothing, but sounds like you’ve got some earlier advice.
Teresa