I have a question for all of you out in writer-blog land. It’s a simple question, but it’s one I don’t have an answer for.

When I was growing up, my family didn’t have a lot of money. A small side-effect of this was that I hated my socks. Yes, you heard me right. They were always those tube socks with the colored stripes at the top – but the cheap version. And I would do everything I could to hide the fact that my socks drooped and were ugly. And my mother said to me on more than one occasion that I needed to stop worrying because it’s not like people were going around staring at my feet.

Later in life – right around my mid-twenties – I developed an affinity for wearing mismatched socks. At the time it was a fashion statement spurred by laziness. Then it became my trademark. How? Because a guy at work one day said “How come your socks never match?”

I have a different habit now. I wear sandals in the summer, and I rarely wear them at my desk. I don’t like the texture against the soles of my feet – regardless of the sandal – but I like the open toe, easy on/off feeling. So I get to work, I slip my sandals off.

Last Friday I was talking to a couple of people at work. I hadn’t had time to slip my shoes back on before I spun to carry on this conversation, so I just kind of passivly hoped no one would notice. No such luck. Less than two minutes into the conversation one asked “where are your shoes?”

This morning a different coworker said “Can I ask you something? How long does it take you after you get to work to take your shoes off, because I happen to know you just got here.”

My feet are under my desk. There’s a cubicle wall between us.

Apparently my mother was wrong. People are going to go around staring at my feet.

But winter is almost here and that means socks and shoes instead of sandals, which means mis-matched socks, but it still means I will probably take my shoes off when I’m at my desk. But now I have to wonder if people at all my jobs noticed. If you’re reading this and I used to work with you – you know who you are – reassure me that not everyone notices or cares that I take my shoes off at work, as long as my feet don’t smell? Though now that I think about it, it might be funny to be remembered as the girl who didn’t wear shoes. What a legacy.

Almost winter means something else, though. NaNoWriMo. I’m an addict. Every year I struggle with what to write about. I’ve heard that you’re supposed to pick a brand new idea so that you’re not already attached to the characters and it’s easier to place them in the midst of bad writing.

Yeah, I can’t follow that rule. For the last three years it’s been super bad though. I have a story idea. It’s one a lot of people have heard of, you’ve probably heard of it too since you’re here and it’s the name of the blog. It’s my domain name. It’s my brand (or will be if I ever make it such). It’s my baby. Or my baby’s daddy. That’s probably more accurate 😉

Apathy’s Hero. I want to write this story. For the last four years, right around November, I decide I’m going to. Except I always have another competing story idea. The ‘other’ idea has won out every year.

Because I didn’t know how to write Apathy’s Hero. I know the main characters so well…I adore Conner more than I do Loki. They’d be nemesis if Conner cared more. (Technically they are, but only in Loki’s head). And I know the basic plot outline. I have almost since day one.

But I know how the story goes this year. Or at least, I know how it could go. Because I’ve decided to write the story I’ll cheat just a little and consciously use the hero’s journey to outline the blasted thing.

But I have another idea too. And I love this idea just as much. It hits a lot closer to home. No one knows what this story is about except me. One person has heard snippets of the idea, another knows where I got the ideas for the characters, but this one is secret and in my head for the most part.

Two stories very close to my heart, for very different reasons. And I don’t know which one to write.

That’s my question: left shoe or right? How would you decide?