Justin @In My Write Mind is hosting a fantastic blogfest today. The concept is simple, but the execution is a little nerve-wracking:
Post your 500-1000 word hook and critique other hooks posted by participants.
Thank you to everyone who stopped by and offered me comments already this morning. I sincerely apologize for not having something posted. See, I scheduled my posted about three weeks ago when I signed up for the blogfest and the days passed until it was today.
Since then, my opening has changed and shifted and what went up automatically was not what I intended: it was filler material. I’ve also since then submitted the story I intended to post from today, so I have nothing to share.
But make sure you visit Justin’s blog and go visit all the other links. There’s some great work out there ^_^
So, it seems there’s a lot of action in this hook, but it left me slightly lost. At the opening, he’s running away from something. But, I honestly couldn’t discern what was happening. I’m sorry, but that’s what I feel. I think you have the making of something interesting, but currently, I can’t see much that has me hooked. My advice right now would be to make it more about Conner. It seems there’s a lot of focus on this party toward the end, and it really doesn’t seem necessary. Who is Conner to these other people? Who is Janus?
Thanks for sharing.
JWP
Well, I like stories about gods and heros, but there’s a lack of overall description here that leaves me feeling like I’m floating in an empty space. Where are they? A frat house, but . . . Where? I’m having trouble picturing it. And what year is it? Is this contemporary or ancient? There’s just a lot I still want and need to know to get a better sense of things.
Thanks for signing up and posting about the Valentine’s bloghop! I look forward to reading your scene 🙂
The begining was a bit confusing and there was some passive voice. There is a lot of potential here I think. Thanks!
This seems like an interesting blogfest.
Stopping by to welcome you on board the A to Z Challenge April 2012
We shall have loads of fun exchanging comments and visits!
Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge
Hey 🙂 Oh, I’m sad there was nothing to read, but I’m glad I found you via the blogfest 🙂 I’m a new follower so look forward to future posts 🙂
Well, it’s nice to meet you, and good luck with your submission! 🙂
Thanks for still posting. I hate it when people skip altogether.
Yeah, my opening is still in it’s early stages. I probably shouldn’t have posted it.