During the entire month of April, I’m participating in the A to Z Blogging Challenge. The alphabet will be my motivation, though the content of the posts will be very similar to what regular readers are used to. Check out the link for more amazing bloggers, and enjoy April!
I got an email on Friday that really set me off. Those in my immediate rant vicinity know that I fumed pretty seriously about it. The details of the message aren’t important, it was the general idea. Someone was offering me unsolicited advice, and it was delivered in a manner I found offensive.
But that’s not just writing, that’s life, right? Every day someone has a suggestion for us. A boss, a spouse, a child, a neighbor. Ranging from the simple “your hair looks cute down, you should wear it that way more often” to the more time-consuming “I wouldn’t have done it the way you did, but if you’d like, I’m happy to help you redo the entire thing to adhere to my vision.” (Not to say that some hair styles aren’t time consuming, but I’ve already spent years on that freaking story…anyway).
The thing that’s easy to forget – for me anyway – is advice is an opinion. It’s not law, or fact, or a rigid ‘must do’ of any sort. Just because someone suggests something, doesn’t mean we have to listen. On the other hand, just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean the advice isn’t good.
There’s a fine balance. I think one of the harder skills for most artists to learn, is where that balance is. Listening to and considering advice, and weighing it fairly against your vision for your work. You can’t incorporate everything. But it’s probably best you listen to at least some of the input, even about changes.
Say, for instance, you really wanted to write a story that blended mythologies. Greek, Norse, Egyptian, etc. And your story was set in modern days, with all of your deities walking the city streets and interacting with people.
Feedback that suggested you only use Greek gods because Isis and Artemis weren’t created at the same time in history may not be conducive to your vision.
Feedback that suggested you explain why all of these gods were living this way may not damage the story as much as help the reader understand your vision.
And if they if they suggest a rewrite of the entire thing, is it because you didn’t write it the way they would have, or is it because you have a flaw running through your entire plot? And do you refuse because then it wouldn’t be your story any more, or because fixing it would be too much work?
And the list of questions to consider goes on and on.
My question is, how do you determine if the advice you receive from day to day is useful or not quite for you? Or to take it a step further, what if the intention is right, but the suggestion isn’t? How do you use the advice to take things in a more appropriate direction than what was suggested?
Interesting A
Here is mine
http://pa-ul.blogspot.com/2012/03/z-artists.html
I had to read your blog entry on advice since I chose the same topic for the “A-Z” challenge. For me it depends on the person giving the advice and the circumstances. I guess when I ask for advice I want it clearly stated and to the point. As I wrote in my entry, I don’t like it when everything is nitpicked to death; that’s going a little too far with the advice if you ask me! LOL
http://sherrilackey.blogspot.com/
You have to know about the person giving advice to determine how to apply it. For some people, giving advice is their way of telling you what they dislike about you/something you’ve done in the guise of “advice.” These people are frequently unable to take constructive criticism themselves. Others who are more trustworthy will couch their statement with affirmations, that they want you to succeed but since they have experience with ABC they want to share their insight.
When it comes to writing, critique is hardly ever objective; we want to tweak other people’s writing to what we would do. The real skill with critique is to guide another writer toward making THEIR best decisions. It’s not easy. It’s more to point someone in the direction of improving their own skill, not rewriting it to how I want it.
So take advice with caution, know who it comes from to weigh the merits of whether it’s any good.
Honestly, if I enjoy what the person giving the advice has written, I’ll be more apt to listen to what they have to say about writing. But things also have to pass the logic and sniff test for me. If the advice would make my story illogical or boring, that’s a no.
More often than applying advice directly, I take it as a signal that I might need to look at whatever it is that’s got the adviser’s undies in a twist. Like you said, it might not mean changing anything–just explaining it more, earlier, or more clearly. (In my book it’s meant at least four new chapter ones. ;P)
I think the advice would always depend on circumstances. I also try to trust my gut, because more than often it is right.
It totally depends on who gives the advice, and how much it rings true to me. If it comes from someone I trust, and whose work I admire, I’m far more likely to take it than if it comes from somebody whose work I don’t like much.
I decide on whether or not to take the advice on the person who is giving it. There are people who know they know everything about everyone and those are the ones that I don’t tend to listen to as much. Others have best intentions and I will at least listen to the intent of the advice, even if I don’t take it. Great post – new follower.
I think before automatically taking advice, I give myself time to digest it properly. That way, I know if it’s really best for me. 🙂
There’s so much to weigh up, isn’t there? Who is giving the advice, what experience do they have, what is your gut feeling saying, even what does the advice giver have to gain?
You know in your gut if you’ve gotten good advice, just as you know whether or not you can apply it to your situation. Trust yourself.
Hmm.. an interesting topic.
I am not often given advice but the over all topic indeed relates to writing and beyond. My dad used to give me advice in the form of saying the current thing in question doesn’t work and I should do something else. This varied from my hair color (he doesn’t like when I dye it black), to my makeup (yeah, dad tries to advise me on makeup), to which novel to write. I know he is trying, but I rarely follow what he says exactly and instead have to look through it to see what he is trying to do beyond the actual words.
On the other hand, when I was in that one critique group, I had troubles with this because the delivery of the message is important as to how it is interpreted. One critique bothered me a little because of the delivery. A while later, I looked back at the comment and with the distance was able to figure out what they were trying to say.
Oddly, at work I am the one a certain 18 year old boy comes to for advice about girls. Interesting times. lol
I tend to go through with ‘sheer bloody mindedness’ and stick with my way until I know it works or not. If not, I’ll look at the advice given and tinker and tweak and test it out again.
Jamie Gibbs
Fellow A-Z Buddy
Consider advice worth what you ‘pay’ for it. I tend to go with my gut.
Hmm. I think you’ve got to look at the person the advice is coming from. What their age is, how they talk, where they live, what kind of books they like to write, what kind of books they like to read… If not all those questions are the same as the way YOU’d answer them, then it’s natural that that person wouldn’t like all the things about your book that YOU like.
And, like farawayeyes said, mostly you can just go with your gut!
Rachel Morgan Writes
I totally resonated with this post!!! The first thing I do is pay attention to my gut reaction to the “advice”. Because I feel like if it really gets me frustrated, I need to decide am I frustrated because that person is right or because I feel personally attacked in some way. Some things are easy to dismiss out of hand. I just know it won’t fit with my vision. Other things I mull over for a few days and see how I feel. I’ve had a few times where I was given very good and valid suggestions but didn’t use them because it would be just trying to do too much in the book.
Really, really excellent post!!!