I was talking to a coworker a while back, and comparing and contrasting our ‘career’ goals. I put it in quotes, because these are the things we’d do if we could put our wildest, most vast and epic career fantasies into place.

For him, that tends to involve epic spanses of company that treats its employees better than anyone else, offers an outstanding, unique, and top-notch product that no one else is quite there on yet, and earns him enough to retire early on a plot of land 100 miles from the closest neighbor.

We have that last bit in common. But for me, it would be not just making a living as an author, but being one of the best. One of the top 25 global sellers, earners, most-licensed, etc. We are talking about fantasy here.

So about thirteen years ago, I wrote a novel. It was the most brilliant thing in the world. Amazing, stunning, and incredible and people would be beating down my door to buy a copy. And I had a plan, and a copy of The Writer’s Market, and a list of publisher addresses so I could write them and ask for their submission guidelines (because 13 years ago, 1) 99% of that information wasn’t online, and 2) 99% of publishers accepted unagented submissions).

My plan was, I’d get the submission guidelines, I’d query the publishers, and one of them would offer me an advance, and send me a check right away. I probably wouldn’t get a hardback deal with my first book, but even for trade paperback, there would probably be a large check in my mailbox within the month.

Fortunately for me, but not so fortunate for my sense of wonder, since then I’ve learned it doesn’t work that way.

Five years ago, I started a business. Just a small retail thing with an online store, an eBay shop, and enough merchandise to set up a table at local sci-fi conventions. I made almost the amount of that advance I’d wanted (gross, not net) in a single weekend at a very small convention.

I took that information, along with other information, and wrote up a full-blown business proposal. I had profit/loss projections for the next 3 years, the math and the evidence that I could repay a significant business loan in that amount of time, and a full-blown convention schedule so we know where to go when all over the country. I had suppliers, employees, and a warehouse all lined up.

If the finance market hadn’t crashed right then (Fannie Mae collapsed within weeks of me starting to look for financing, the two aren’t related, just unfortunate), I’d like to think I could have landed that business loan, and had my own little travelling business. It wouldn’t have guaranteed early retirement, but it would have been a distinct step in the right direction.

Of those two things, one of them has quantifiable goals. I can chart its financial future in a spreadsheet and predict with a moderate level of accuracy how things will go financially if a plan is followed.

For the other, there’s no formula. There’s no spreadsheet that says if I write this book, and visit these conventions, and order this merchandise, that I’m guaranteed a geometric fiancial growth that puts me sitting happy and only working for myself five-ten years down the line.

So, being the rational *rollseyes* person I am, I chose the path that doesn’t have quantifiable or predictable results.

I write. And I no longer expect that all I have to do is stuff my manuscript in an envelope and mail it off and a month later I’ll have a decent advance waiting for me, and that royalties will start rolling in just a month or two later.

And still I write. Because in the end, my long-term goals aren’t centered around money. Sure, I’d take it, and yes I like making enough to live comfortably, but take away my creative outlet, and you take away my soul.

However, if I ever were to achieve the only-imaginable and get an advance about the size of the business loan I was looking for, there’s a strong possibility I’d do both – write and run my business.

Sometimes it’s nice to dream big. I can’t retire from the fantasy, but it’s fun to pretend.

How big do you like to dream when you let your imagination run wild?